Easter Check-In

Attached is a journal I submitted for my Ignatian Spirituality Course earlier this weekend in which we were asked to pray over the Resurrection of Jesus. I hope this serves as a reminder to take a step back and appreciate all the little moments of joy you may experience. Happy Easter & Be Well.

- B

If anything, praying with the Risen Christ showed me that my life is surrounded by joy. I’ve been born into an amazing family with two supportive parents and three loving siblings. My education at Creighton University has truthfully been filled with nothing but joy. Finding my best friends, working with the basketball team, being able to attend two Encounter with Christ retreats, and singing at the Candlelight masses are all continuous elements of my Creighton experience that provided joy at every turn. And although it is easy to reflect and look back on times where the Risen Christ has manifested Himself in my life, I struggle with not knowing how or when I will experience Him in the years to come. Will there be a joy that is as intense as what I have already experienced? What if I fail to live a life fueled by joy? 

 I came to a realization during this prayer that joy can only be recognized when there exist trials engulfed in the flames of misery. When Jesus was crucified and the stone was rolled over His tomb, Mary and the Apostles experienced one of the greatest tribulations humanly fathomed. They lost their son, friend, teacher, and leader. The three days after His death were clouded by darkness. There was no light at the end of their tunnel. In my life, I experienced three of the darkest months as I was battling my anxiety disorder. I firmly believed that my pain and misery would never end – that joy was a feeling I would never experience again. And like Mary and the Apostles, I was sorely mistaken. I most strongly feel the Risen Christ in my ongoing recovery. There are brief instances that occur occasionally throughout my weeks in which I feel joy by just being able to sit with myself and my thoughts. And in reflection on some of my darkest hours, I am convinced that God wanted to shift my thinking around what ‘joy’ actually is.

Joy had always been a feeling that was derived from a major event in my life. Now, joy ebbs and flows through the little moments throughout my days. I experience joy driving to get my morning coffee. I experience joy while sitting on the porch of my home with my roommates. I experience joy in talking with my family on the phone. I experience joy when one of my favorite songs comes on shuffle. I experience joy through the interactions with those who I do not see often. My life has been surrounded by joy, yet it took a valley to truly appreciate this joy. Happy Easter.